One man's neverending struggle between wrath and sloth.
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DVD: THE SECRET June 15, 2008 Remember when self-help meant trying to be a better person? OLD GLORY AND OLD MAN RIVER June 15, 2008 Who knew Flag Day could be so irritating? ONE MINUTE OF HATE May 24, 2006 Formerly "Archenemy of the Week", it's a brief bit of grousing about that which irks me (such as Michelle Gibson of Jackson Country, NC). FADE AWAY May 27, 2004 Here's a little game of my design. Hopefully expanded soon (soonish? with impending soonlyness?) MY FORAY INTO PHOTO JUDGING May 19, 2004 Riding the coattails of infinitely more successful photo rating sites, I believe I've come up with the ultimate niche. FRIDGE MAGNETS ONLINE May 19, 2004 The Fridge Magnets page has been updated with 100 extra words, is cleaned up a bit, and now finally works in all browsers (lousy semicolon...). Guaranteed entertaining for at least |
YES! District 9 Hey, an action movie not only with brains but not totally predictable! Just came back from the theater. Go see it! I think I've officially mastered Windows Hearts:  eyequarry /I'-kwar-ee/ n. What my eyes have become in the last few months, producing an absolutely absurd amount of sleep dust. (500) Days of Summer - I'm not usually a romantic comedy guy, but this isn't like a lot of romantic comedies. Go see it. G.I. Joe Don't get me wrong, this movie was stupid, but it exceeded my low expectations. When my superego was complaining about the plotholes and overall ridiculousness, my id told it to shut the hell up and watch the explosions, swordfights, and women in tight outfits. Moon Good luck finding it. Part mystery, part drama, part character study, it's a very well done movie. Doublepluskudos for Sam Rockwell, since it all rides on us believing what his character is experiencing. Click to see my check for 4 cents to which I owe the IRS.  A guy at work wrote the word "tries" in a report as "try's". It made me sad. The odds of me accidentally playing Beyonce on my car radio has now doubled. Today, K-Rock in New York changed to a top 40 format. A few weeks ago G106.3 also became a top 40 station and I never got around to adjusting my presets. I don't have a cd player, and there is currently a tape from the library lodged in the tape deck ("The Salmon of Doubt" by Douglas Adams). Hopefully there isn't compound interest on library fines. As I've grown older and remained equally unwise, I've decided to end the war with my natural enemy: cats. In doing so I've decided to write up a truce. Since I have the benefits of opposable thumbs, language, and a dial-up internet connection I shall make the terms of said truce. THE GREAT TRUCE BETWIXT MIKE AND ALL OF FELINEDOM 1. All agression from and to each of the parties is to cease, but this does not mean we have to like each other. 2. Agression shall include but not be limited to: Threats (both verbal and mewing), acts of phyiscal violence, gaze of death, turning into a half-person and stealing my soul while I'm sleeping like in that Stephen King movie, or me taking your carcass and burying you in a pet cemetary like in that Stephen King movie. 3. We agree that in times of crisis to set aside our differences and help each other. This includes if you are being chased by a dog from Hell like in that Stephen King movie, or if a miniature troll is trying to steal my breath like in that Stephen King movie. 4. If I am in the same room as a cat, I may extend pleasantries such as petting it or saying, "Hey, Kitty." This in no way makes me a giant wuss. 5. If a cat is in the same room as me, it may extend pleasantries such as looking at me or approaching me. This in no way includes jumping on my lap without my permission and using your goddamn claws to give me a vasectomy. This truce does not extend to other things I hate that start with "C" such as cheese, crabs (the aquatic kind not the "Rock of Love" kind), and "Catcher In the Rye". I wish I could find it again, but this is a damn funny headline:  Wouldn't the Heat Miser try to keep all of the heat for himself as opposed to making everywhere else hot? I'm convinced the only possible solution to the abortion debate is to develop a technology that can teleport unwanted fetuses into the wombs of women who have trouble conceiving. I had a dream last week where I'm running some unknown business of about 12 people and I find out that one of my employees has turned invisible. He said he's willing to use his new found non-opaqueness to help the company but that he has two rules: 1) It can't be illegal or immoral. 2) It can't be a publicity stunt (e.g. Get your car washed and take a picture with the invisible vacuum guy.) Any ideas? E-mail them to invisibleguy at this domain.  The Alabama Board of Tourism announced their new slogan is "Sweet Home Alabama" and they are still deciding if they want to use the song in the campaign or not. Personally, I'm not sure if the line "Now Watergate does not bother me" and a dis of Neil Young will attract many visitors. Highlight the area just below to see the ultimate Harry Potter spoiler: Hermione is a sled.  .02 ≠ .0002 Whenever someone tells you that they "don't do math" and chuckes at their own willing ignorance, smack them upside the head with a 4th-grade math book for me and make them listen to this.  Letters G. Anus Forethought F. Squeezing Declined E. Mittens Benches L. Cowpunchers Cockleshell F. Signatures Funnels H. Eagerly Floor G. Symposium Refueling Q. Instalments |